Battle Studies and Balloons

I got a CD for Christmas. I got the CD rather than just buying the songs on itunes, going old school, I know. I'm not the proud owner of John Mayer's latest piece of brilliance, "Battle Studies". Usually I'm lucky if I like 5 or 6 of the songs on a CD. Not surprisingly, John Mayer beats the odds. I'm currently in love with 11 of the 12 songs on the album. Since i'm not going to link all the songs from his wonderful creation to this post....you all will just have to settle with looking at the cover art, and JM's awesome hair. Don't you just want to run your fingers through it? haha..ok ok, too far.

Now totally off subject I watched "UP!" today. You know, the movie by Disney about the old guy with glasses, the dog that talks, and all those BALLOONS! Although I wish I could say that it was "beneath me" and I didn't enjoy it at all, I can't, because I loved it! The Characters were so cute. The old man was preciously grumpy and I wanted to hug the pudgy little Asian-looking boyscout. In the movie, the old man sets out to find the land of adventure him and his wife always wanted to visit. After his wife died, he stuck about a million balloons onto his house and floated off to find the land of his wife's dreams. It got me thinking. He waited until his wife was dead, and he could barely walk 'till he went on his adventure. I mean it was clear in the movie that because of house payments, car payments, and other things that he couldn't really have gone any earlier. But who wants to wait till they are too old to fully enjoy an adventure to go on one. I want to travel all over now, when I'm young (and can still walk without the help of a cane). But to the old guy's credit, he went. He didn't let the fact that he was old keep him from going on his adventure, he still went. I don't want to be the girl that watches everyone else go on their own adventures while I'm busy organizing, saving, and planning my life away. I want to have my own adventures too.

Plan an adventure...

Serendipity: word of the day

I was talking with someone about books we read as a kid and I really loved the "Serendipity" books. It got me thinking about what the word actually means.

Serendipity is defined as: "an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident; good luck."


........too bad serendipity doesn't exist.

so awhile back i wrote about how i felt like i was on the verge of a big change. i wasn't. no big changes happened. bummer.

Christmas is a time for joy. Joy that the Savior came to save us, for without Him we would be lost forever. Christmas isn't a time to be bummed about how other peoples lives seem more adventurous, or more meaningful, or more put together than mine. Christmas isn't a time to be disappointed that your timing isn't God's timing. So I'm not going to let it be. Let's be a little cliche and say "remember the reason for the season".

This is one of my new favorite Christmas songs...enjoy.

http://

Peace on earth...good will to men

One mistake I didn't make

Summer flings. So fun....but not always. This past summer I could have had a "fling" with this one guy I met through some mutual friends. He was from out of town so it really would have been a perfect random make-out opportunity. But I didn't. I decided to play the part of the good girl yet again and decided that we should be "facebook buddies" rather than "make-out buddies". I not going to pretend that there aren't days where I kinda wish I would have played the "not so nice-girl" but most of the time, I'm glad I made the decision I ended up making.

I was looking through his pictures the other day and if I would have said yes, I'm pretty sure I would have been one in a long long line of make-out partners. The kind of people he takes pictures with are the kind of people I DONT want to be. You know who i'm talking about, the too tan, too tight, too much make-up, too skinny, too trashy looking girls. Most of them have beer in hand and goofy grins on their faces. I would have been just another make-out, just another girl. As nice as he may have seemed, I don't want to be "just another girl" to him. I don't want to be "just another girl" to anyone.


Stay classy...always

And so it begins!

I'm done with finals and my Christmas break has started!!!!!!

I'm wish i could say i was kidding, but i'm kind of sad that my philosophy class is over. It was really interesting, I loved the prof., I loved the people in my class, and it made me think about a lot different aspects about my faith. But i'm on to bigger and better things.

This past weekend I had a really great time with my roommates, well 2 of them. Kellyn went home to be productive and study. Good for her, because everybody knows i didn't have a productive weekend. The lowlight of the weekend was being harassed by a guy in a little caesars costume. I HATE people in costumes. THEY SCARE ME!!!!!!! I can't see there faces, i don't know what gender they are, and they can pretty much hug you w/out getting in trouble, i mean for all i know they could be some pedifile, sex crazed pyscho hugging me. anyways, the highlight of the weekend occured right after that, we went to the Live Nativity in Huntington. It was AWESOME. we waited for almost 2 hours to get in, but it was awesome once we did. We played 20 questions, I have an awesome one and it took Beth and Carrie like half hour to figure it out. haha.

another thought for the day; moving on is hard. Leaving people is hard. Some of my friends either aren't coming back second semester or are going to be off campus. It makes me sad. I liked things the way they are, but change is a part of life. And i'm excited for the people that are going to be off campus, they will have awesome experiences. We'll see what happens.

Off to have wonderful adventures over Christmas break!

why, hello again...

so it's been awhile...i've been really busy. Experienced a good amount of stress. With the end of semester stuff all falling into a span of about 3 days it was touch and go there for awhile. Well i made it through the week, almost, and it's pretty smooth sailing till break. I've got two finals till break. The philosophy one is going to be annoying, since there's so much stuff to study.

oh well, in the spirit of looking forward to Christmas I'm going to honor you with a list of stuff I'm looking forward to doing over break.

-going to my home church
-singing christmas carols
-shopping
-watching "It's A Wonderful Life"
-watching "A Charlie Brown Christmas"
-baking Christmas cookies with my mom
-wrapping Christmas presents
-setting up the nativity scene
-watching snow fall at night
-reading "Pride and Prejudice"
-listening to my grandpa read the Christmas story
-seeing my cousins new baby!
and last but not least....
-eating way too much food.

At least New Year's Eve is getting closer so I can make some new year's resolutions to eat better (and less). Maybe if i'm lucky the resolutions this year will last until the end of February.

Happy weekend eve.

Jane Austen...

My current obsession is Jane Austen. Over break I read a version of
Pride and Prejudice. I watched "Becoming Jane", a movie about the life of Jane Austen. I'm currently watching the movie version of Pride and Prejudice. I want to buy the book for Christmas. I love Austen's insight on English society and her strong willed characters. She was such a radical in her time, i'm jealous. I love the time period she writes in; all the balls, and manners, and gowns. Everybody could play the piano, dance, and write with quill-tip pens and ink. The only downside was the empire-waist dresses. I mean unless you're a freaking stick...you're pretty much destined to look fat. I was not blessed with a "stick-like" figure...good thing i'm not forced to wear empire waist dresses everyday. the also didn't have contacts, so I would be forced to wear glasses. I would be the fat, girl with glasses...destined to be an old maid....Praise God for contacts! haha

Seriously though, I'm very thankful for the inventions of the day. Like contacts and indoor plumbing. God knew what time period to place me in...I would not have done well if I had existed 200 years ago.

Back to Jane Austen,
I love her characters, each one has so much depth. Although, most of her character are charicatures, I know so many people who fit them exactly! I also love Austens diction. The word choice is impeccable, just reading her novels makes me want to use big words...see, like impeccable. Who says that?! I wish we still talked like that.

"It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first."

I wish I talked like this...every word is descriptive, and conveys exaclty what message the speaker wants to send. They thought out what they were going to say before they sent it...i need to do that more often.

running

I went for a run tonight.

Running and I have a strange relationship. I hate getting ready to go running but I love the way I feel while I run and after I run. My absolute favorite is to run at night in a cool rain. I got one of the three tonight. I went running when it was dark, and cool. It was just me, my ipod, and the stars. I wish i could say i was one of those people that run to collect their thoughts and ponder deep and confusing issues, but I can't. When I run, my mind clears. I just focus on the ground in front of me. But speaking of deep and confusing issues, I saw my philosophy professor while I was running, that was kinda strange. haha

I wish i could run more often. One of THE MOST frustrating things about my life is the problems i continually have with my legs. I can't run more than a couple times a week without getting shin splints. I've had at least 2 stress fractures in my ankles, and now I have really bad tendonitis in both knees. I love running, but not being able to walk the day after is not fun. I think I need to find some type of exercise that still tires me out but doesn't kill my legs. Any ideas?

Guess what? 1 1/2 days till break! Food, family, and giving thanks....can't get much better.

night all.

a poem...

After a while – Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…

I have a confession, I collect poems. Every so often I read poems online, all different kinds. My favorite poet is Sara Teasdale, she's kinda melancholy (ok that's a lie, she super melancholy) but i like her insight and her diction. obviously, this isn't by her, but i like this poem a lot. I says a lot...on a lot of different levels. What kind of experience does it take to make someone write these words. How many sad experiences did this person have to make them feel like they must set out by themselves? It's intresting though, because, slowly, I'm starting to become this person. Scary, huh? Its scary to learn sometimes. Its scary to know that i must to learn if i want to actually live a life instead of just existing in one. Its scary that if i want to learn i will experience pain.

and on a lighter note, the U of M vs. OSU game is tomorrow.....Go wolverines. If all goes according to plan, tomorrow will consist of sleeping in, watching the U of M game, watching the HU basketball game, and helping at a benefit for an amazing little girl. should be a good day.

side note. my roommates are discussing a very serious matter. after watching an episode of Deadliest Catch (awesome show by the way), we have begun to ponder this question: What does a lobster do all day long? and how do they stay on the bottom of the ocean? we may never know.

thought of the moment: take away the smoking, swearing, heavy drinking from the average deck hand on Deadliest Catch, add some teeth, some religious beliefs, and at least a GED level of education, and you have my perfect man.

Thanksgiving already!?!?!

I talked to some of my friends this afternoon and was reminded that i haven't blogged in a while...so here we go...

So i was pretty much mortified when I got up this morning and realized that today is November 19, which means, it's almost Thanksgiving, I have 3 1/2 weeks till Christmas Break, and less than 2 months till 2010. Where did the year go? I swear just yesterday I was finishing up my soph. year and now i'm halfway through my junior year. crazy. I know it's a little early to be thinking about new years resolutions...but honestly what did i do this year? I mean i wish i could be like, i helped such-and-such organization, or reached out to this ministry. I'll be the first to admit that i didn't do as much as i wanted to this year. I always have such high expectations about all the things i want to do in the world...gosh, i want to bash around and save the world...but then the next minute i'm completely content to lay around in apathy. how annoying. well hopefully (Lord willing) that will change.

Speaking of change....you know that big change that i felt like was coming....yep, still hasn't happened. bummer.

side note that has nothing to do w/ anything. the past two days i've gotten to spend some time with friends i haven't seen in awhile. i didn't realise how much i missed them. i need to come out of the cave that i've been living in for the past 3 weeks. I didn't live in a cave on purpose....i just needed a break from people...and it turned into a life consisting of homework, t.v., sleeping, and pondering. haha. well i need to try and get over that hump.

ok...that was a lot of introspection for one post.

Make the last few days of the year count!

change

so kinda a weirdly creepy picture...but it's what google came up with when I typed in change...

well an update for all of you who read my blog and don't already know this. My brother is a state champion. Freedom won division 4 boys soccer state finals last weekend. He also passed his drivers test this week too! I'm so proud of him! Man, I love that boy! He's a pretty awesome brother. Now for this week. I've been feeling "sickish" for the past two days. I haven't been hungry for two days and I have a slight headache, upset stomach, and maybe a slight fever. major downer. oh well can't do much about it.

I sat in today for HTV, our college's tv news broadcast. I think it would be SUPER fun to be an anchor or sports or something on HTV. The professor told me I should do sports next year, and the director said I should come out. But i don't know. I mean It's entirely possible that i will really suck at it. I mean can't you just picture me misreading the teleprompter and saying s---t instead of shift, or reading the entire news story into the wrong camera, or having a chunck of my hair sticking straight up, or having something in my teeth, the list goes on and on. so I don't know...we'll see.

anyways...now in reference to my title for the post.


Have you ever felt like you're on the verge of a big chance? I have, I feel like that right now, actually. I'm not sure what it will have to do with, but it feels like there's gonna be a huge change, like a turning point you know? Like I'm standing with a blindfold on and it's about to be taken off (ha, I avoided using the clique of "standing at the edge of a cliff", or "standing at a fork in the road", but I mean they are good analogies). I don't know if it's going to be good or bad, but I just feel like it's coming.


Here's to hoping it's a good change.

off track already

I'm fully aware that it was just yesterday that i made a list of topics i was going to cover for my blog, but i don't feel like talking about anything on that list right now.

Right now i feel like talking about my day...and my 5 day weekend.

What does a 100+ Communication theory+ worrying= a 100% on my last Communication Theory test.....OH YEAH!!!! That, my wonderful friends, is how my day started. I had to visit the doctor about my leg today. Apparently, I have periostitis, which is the inflammation of the covering on the bone of my lower leg. I'm supposed to massage my leg, ice it, and rest. At least it's not a stress fracture, could've been worse.

Today I was a sports anchor, "threw to a break", ran a teleprompter, worked a tv camera, and shot a OVS shot, all for the first time. In broadcast journalism today we had 3 mock newscasts. I really enjoyed doing the sports and working the camera, but i HATED running the teleprompter. I was complimented for how I did doing the sports, which was neat...since I'd NEVER DONE IT BEFORE.

Next I enjoyed killing my skin cells by frying them in a tanning bed. It was wonderful. Overall it has been a wonderful day.

Now for my big weekend plans.

So my brother, who I love so very much, is playing in the state semi-finals soccer game tomorrow. My mom is coming to pick me up tomorrow and she'll bring me back on thurs. If they win tomorrow then my mom will spend the night on thurs. and we'll go back to Grand Rapids on Fri. for the weekend...with the state championship game on sat. It's shaping up to be an excellent weekend!

this is my brother whom I love.


Time to indulge...in some ice cream.

Coming Attractions

When I created this blog I had a whole list of things I wanted to talk about..and i realized today that I have talked about...pretty much none of them. So I'm making a list of topics I want to talk about...

-soccer
-next semester
-the soundtrack of my life
-my future
-"Respectable Sins"
-my sense of "style"
-summer plans
-my friends
-my family
-high school
-my time

Well it's probably going to take me awhile to get through this list but that's ok. Let's get started on that list.

Next Semester:

I scheduled classes for next semester today. I'm taking 16 credits, which might not sound like a lot...but i'm a little nervous because I haven't taken that many credits in a while. So far...here's how it looks...

BR331 Religions of the World
MA151 Intro. to Probability & Statistics
CO231 Radio Announcing & Production
CO381 Media Law
CO421 Research Methods in Communication
PE121CAR Cardio Strength Conditionng Women
PE111YOG Yoga

Usually I'm excited about the new classes I will be taking because they relate to my major, but a math class, a Bible class, and Strenght training and yoga don't relate to the major. I haven't taken a math class in 4 years so i'm kinda worried I won't remember that 2+2=4. I'm actually worried for all my classes. I hate worrying. God tells us in pretty obvious terms that we aren't supposed to worry. He is in control of everything and we really can't change what His plan is. So my goal....is to stop worrying. Hahaha...might be awhile before i accomplish that one. Let's look on the positive side of things w/ regards to classes....I'm interested in what exactly we will do in Yoga...hopefully I'll get a little more flexible, always a good thing. And i'm excited to take the Radio announcing and production class. Hopefully this will let me know if I want to be on-air at a radio station...or do more behind the scenes stuff. Side note- one of my professors told me the other day he could see me in public relations type stuff....awesome Dr. Clark, way to make me complete doubt my choice of major/minor. Great now I need to deal doubt...which is also something God tells us not to do...geesh...i'm on a role w/ this whole trusting God thing. Well at least His grace is sufficient.


Also...I noticed that my posts have nothing to do w/ my title...my random thoughts are not helping me decide on a great title....so I'll end each post w/ something about me that I think needs to be included in my blog title. Today it's.....

Well after looking at this post, I've concluded, unfortunately enough, that I am a worrying doubter...or a doubting worrier. which ever way you want to look at it.

may you all have a peaceful day.

lazy night

This is a NEWS BULLETIN......THIS POST HAS NO RHYME OR REASON AT ALL
and there will be no pictures...try using your imaginations...it's way more fun.

So I should be studying for my Communication Theory class right now. But instead i'm writing on my blog...and dreaming of days gone by. Cheesy? YES!!! But that's what an hour and a half of listening to Michael Buble, Dean Martin, and Frank Sinatra will do to you. Their music puts me in best mood. Suddenly i'm wisked back to 1950s and wearing a killer dress and dancing with a well dressed man w/ a fedora. I want to be sitting in a cocktail lounge listenig to Sinatra in person. Oh well..not gonna happen...since he's dead. oh well. The most I can hope for is a night downtown Chicago, walking from the door of my 15th story apartment building out to a black towncar (It's my boyfriend's company car that they let him borrow for the evening, just so you know). The stars are out, its one of those warm fall nights, the perfect temperature. Then we're being wisked down Michigan Avenue towards the Palmer House for the Gala that he just HAD to go to. It's gonna be a night of dancing(even though i don't know how to dance), champagne (even though i don't really like it) and big band music. Just to complete the image for you, I'm wearing a killer dress that shows off my legs, and my hair looks better than jennifer anistons ever has. Now back to reality...sigh...


I figured out my schedule for next semester today. I'm hopefully taking 16.5 credits. I'm really excited about my Radio Announcing and Production class. Not so excited about my Research Methods in Communication, Media Law, or the MATH class that I have to take. Oh well. I have to get em done sometime.


I think i have a stress fracture in my leg. I had one my freshman year in high school and it was one of the most frustrating things ever. My leg hurts pretty bad. I have a sharp pain when i walk on it or touch it. It even hurts when i'm laying down...it's a dull, throbbing pain. I'm trying to just suck it up since I only have one week of soccer left. I was looking forward to running and working out (hopefully to lose a couple pounds) after soccer was over, but I can hardly walk...There is no way I'll be able to run. I guess I'll just have to cut out a meal each day...I'm down to a granola bar for breakfast and a salad for dinner....just kidding.


I got a text from the guy I worked with at my internship. He said that him and his co-worker missed me and wished "he could snap his fingers and have me as a member of team" right now. I was really encouraged by that. I've been scared lately. What if I graduate and I'm bad at radio, or public relations, or...everything. We had a chapel this week about how we need to get out there and DO stuff for God. And I thought about how I want to do something big for God so bad. They talked about how each of us are gifted especially for our purpose in God's kingdom. And I thought about how I'm not super good at anything...I mean don't get me wrong. God's gifted me in numerous ways...but there will always be someone (in most cases, a lot of someones) who are way better at any skill i might have. What if I'm just average my whole life. I don't want to be average, but I don't have anything that makes me distinctive enought to really stand out like that one person. You know who I'm talking about, that one person who has it all. They have that special quality that just makes them stand slightly above the rest. They can sing, they can dance, they can lead, they can pray, and everybody just loves them...and the worst part about it is that you do too! haha. Oh well i need to just get over it, and trust that God will find some use for me.


side note.....i'm sorry if you get annoyed with my really bad spelling, and my really bad puncuation, and the fact that i never capitalize words...or i do but only sometimes. I just get too into what i'm writing...or i'm too lazy to care. And I don't usually re-read my posts...so there will probably be parts that don't make sense....



Deal with the mediocrity of my writing.

the saddest part of autumn

I love fall, it might be my favorite season.

Here's a few reasons why I love fall:

-colder weather- I love being able to bundle up in a sweater or a huge blanket

-sweaters- who doesn't love pulling on a cozy sweater?

-apple picking- I wish I could re-create the smell of an apple orchard, and
something is just so much better about the way fresh picked apples taste.

-pumpkins- Although the guts can be smelly and kinda gross, decorating pumpkins in a
fall time must!!!! do you paint or carve your pumpkins?

-thanksgiving- food, family, football...the ultimate triangle of awesomeness!

-apple cider- what a wonderful beverage. enjoy hot,cold,frozen, or with a cinnamon
stick.

-pumpkin cookies- my lovely mother started making these a couple years ago. They're
actually pretty healthy because they are made with pumpkin filling (i guess it's
healthy for you).

-college football-
"Hail! to the victors valiant
Hail! to the conqu'ring heroes
Hail! Hail! to Michigan
The leaders and best!
Hail! to the victors valiant
Hail! to the conqu'ring heroes
Hail! Hail! to Michigan,
The champions of the West!

enought said.....

-carmel apple pops- a beautiful combination of sour green apple suckers and carmel...but get them while they last, they're only around during the fall.

-leaves- The colors of changing leaves are AMAZING!!!! There are so many different colors, but my favorite are the vivid red leaves. I wish they stayed on the trees longer, but they do make the road/sidewalk look so much better! haha I'll admit it, I'm not a huge fan of raking leaves....but i love jumping in them!


speaking of leaves, A depressing thing happened this week. During the fall this depressing thing happens about once a week. Yesterday the grounds crew (the people that mow the grass at HU), destroyed the leaves. The crew comes in with this huge machine-thing that sucks up all the leaves and chops them into little tiny pieces. After they're done there are no longer any pretty leaves...only chopped up little pieces in random spots across campus. anyways...time to get to bed, I have a soccer game tomorrow, it could be my second to last game of my junior year. so strange to think about.

enjoy the fall!

a "goodish" day

today was a good day, for the most part. It started off not so good because i had an 8 o'clock class...boooo that. then we watched some really neat music videos in my comm. class. I got to take a NAP, which are possibly my most favorite things in the world. We had a soccer game against IWU tonight. we lost 3-0 but we played well, and i played 4, yep count 'em, 4 different positions. My parents came, which was so nice. I've really gotten a lot closer to my parents this school year and I just love whenever I get to see them, especially since i didn't get to go home for fall break. We went out to eat afterwards to applebees...it was excellent. in aproximately 1 hour Glee is on.....winner winner chicken dinner. and then I get to go to bed. overall this has been an above average day.

i'm aware that there wasn't really anything deep or insightful in this post. but i felt guilty that i hadn't posted anything since sat.

heres one of the music videos we watched in class...the actual music is super weird and it takes awhile for it to get interesting but hold out, cuz it's amazing, so much planning had to go into making this movie.

just being honest

ok, this is just an honest post. I know it's not what I should be thinking, and i know i shouldn't feel this way because i have more things to be thankful than i could possibly count...i didn't write that because i want a million people commenting that they love me, or that i shouldn't be sad, or that my time is coming, or that God's timing is perfect. like i said...i know those things...but this is just the way i'm feeling


i'm kinda sad and kinda lonely....

and i don't want to be kinda sad and kinda lonely anymore.










good night.

my "fall break", but not really

I'm getting ready for a non-fall break. I have a soccer game today and practice monday and tuesday so i can't go home. But i'm glad i get a break and a chance to catch up on some sleep.

I don't have much time to write a deeply insightful post right now...but, thanks to Rachel, I discovered this song...and I love it. It's a good reminder. Enjoy!

http://

Who knows who you might meet in a grocery store.


Have a lovely fall day!

SO ANGRY!!!!!!!

So we watched a movie the other day in my communication and society class. It was about how music videos objectify women. I found myself getting angry about how women were allowing men to treat them in such a way. The women in these videos were allowing (if not throwing) themselves onto men. They were letting men touch them and treat them like pieces of meat. It made me SO ANGRY!!!!!!!!! I'm angry because our society has put such a high emphasis on appearance and sexuality that womens minds have been been numbed into thinking that these are the only things that give women value.

And i'm even more angry that I've boughten into it. I mean I try to make myself look half-way decent. I'm constantly comparing myself to women I see on t.v. or even around campus. I wish I was skinnier. I wish I had better skin. I wish I had a smaller nose. I spend a lot of money on makeup. The list goes on and on. I hate that I'm one of those girls. I hate feeling like I don't have as much value because I don't have a boyfriend. I hate feeling like I'm behind because all of my friends from highschool are either married or engaged. I hate it because I know my value doesn't come from that. I know that if I search for admiration the of men I WILL NEVER FIND IT. Paul says in Galatians, "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." I am a child of the Living God and He is what gives me value. I must stop believing the lie that the devil has told to society. Now if I can only figure out how.......


hmmmm. time for some pondering...

my to-do list

I have an ongoing list that I keep of things I want to do before I die. It's not really a bucket list...it's not like if I don't do everything my life will be a failure or anything like that. It's just a list of things that I think it would be cool to do. Some of the items are small and other ones are kinda reaching for the sky. don't laugh, some of these are kinda lame.

To-Do List:

• buy a lotto ticket


• take a cooking class


• swim in the mediterranean


• learn to play the piano


• visit all 50 states


• get my ears double pierced


• write a song


• sail a boat


• run a half marathon


• drive/ride a motorcycle


• visit Paris


• visit Italy


• ride the underground in London


• learn to ski


• climb a mountain

Well there it is...the ones I feel like sharing anyways.

side note: I love Glee. It's a show on Fox, it's on Wed. nights, and I think it's the bees knees. The music rocks my world. Every week I'm really really want to buy all the songs from the show on itunes.....behold temptation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


peace out home scout!

it's funny

NOTE TO READERS: Due to having a lot on my mind this entry will probably end up being random. I tend to have a thought, begin to elaborate on it, then move onto another thought before i finish the old one. consider yourself warned.


it's funny how easily your day can be changed. My day started out awesome. I made toast and eggs for breakfast and I looked cute. Then I went to class and I got a test back. I didn't fail but I didnt get a very good grade either. So my day went a little worse. Then i went on a field trip to a t.v. station which was fun. So my day got a little better. After that I had a soccer game, which we lost...that made me sad/mad. I played alot which was great but it's just been a frustrating (I never spell this word right) year soccer-wise...but that will come later...in the form of a post. haha. Then I did homework...which continued to bring my day down. Then...we had our floor/friends Bible study. This has become the highlight of my week. I love being able to share our insights, triumphs, and pray requests with each other. But back to my rollercoaster of emotions (why yes, i did steal that analogy). I don't think that it's right for me to be that wishy-washy. I mean shouldn't my emotions be based on God, and when I really think about it, i bring it upon myself with the value i place on things that dont really matter. So for the rest of this week i'm gonna try hard to not let day-to-day circumstances change my attitude. This is going to be tough.

ok well i'm tired. and i guess that post wasn't quite as random as i thought it was going to be...but it's time for me to drift off into the sweet sweet land of sleep.

sleep well.

Rainy fall day

So it's kinda cold and rainy today. The leaves had started to change, and some have started to fall off the trees, so there's wet, brown leaves all over the sidewalk. I know I should hate weather like this, I mean who would pick this over a warm, sunny day when it's 80 degrees. And while I love days like that too, I'll be honest and say I love this weather...ok maybe not the rain...but anyways.

It reminds me of 2 things:

1. What I imagine England would be like. I'm not sure why but I think of England as being kinda blustery and cold. I probably get it from Wuthering Heights, one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE books. I can almost picture myself ducking into some quaint bookstore for tea after traveling through the moors....See I warned you my blog was going to be weird. You're only just beginning to see how strange my mind really is.

2. Chicago. When I turned 16 my mom took me and one of my best friends at the time, Laura, to Chicago. I love everything about Chicago, I love how big it is, I love how diverse it is, I love how I can pass Louis Vuitton, H&M, and Goodwill all within a couple of minutes. Anyways, when I went with Laura and my mom it was only about the second time I had gone. We had a fantastic time but it rained/snowed and was cloudy for most of the weekend. I went to Chicago again with the Student Council from high school and same deal...I loved it, but it rained the whole weekend. In some weird frame of mind I feel like the clouds fit Chicago though. For me at least, it makes it feel more urban. I feel compelled to walk fast and wear a black (very stylish, of course) trench coat.


So yes, while the rain is wet and cold. I enjoy what it reminds me of.....now it's time for me to go to class. Maybe I'll walk quickly and pretend my sweatshirt is actually a very stylish trench coat.

Much love.

the start of something new...

well i'm trying something NEW...a blog!!

I wanted to start blogging a while ago but I didn't want to "go along with the crowd". Which, I guess doesn't really make sense since now it just looks like I was late in following the trend.

So I'm kind of a particular person and as lame as it is, I wanted a really good title for my blog. I wanted something that would describe me. I wanted something original and quirky, but not too cliche or brainy. My goal of a perfect title is pretty much impossible since I'm such a random smathering of ideas, emotions, and thoughts. So I decided that until I finally have that epiphany of the perfect title, this blog will track the process of coming up with THE great title. I know hardly anyone is going to read this because I don't plan on really telling anyone about it. I know that if anyone does read this they will probably just be really confused since I'm so weird. And I know that my blog will not be a place full of amazing, deeply penetrating thoughts. But my thoughts are my thoughts and I'm excited to try to put them down into words.


And So It Begins.......