Jane Austen...

My current obsession is Jane Austen. Over break I read a version of
Pride and Prejudice. I watched "Becoming Jane", a movie about the life of Jane Austen. I'm currently watching the movie version of Pride and Prejudice. I want to buy the book for Christmas. I love Austen's insight on English society and her strong willed characters. She was such a radical in her time, i'm jealous. I love the time period she writes in; all the balls, and manners, and gowns. Everybody could play the piano, dance, and write with quill-tip pens and ink. The only downside was the empire-waist dresses. I mean unless you're a freaking stick...you're pretty much destined to look fat. I was not blessed with a "stick-like" figure...good thing i'm not forced to wear empire waist dresses everyday. the also didn't have contacts, so I would be forced to wear glasses. I would be the fat, girl with glasses...destined to be an old maid....Praise God for contacts! haha

Seriously though, I'm very thankful for the inventions of the day. Like contacts and indoor plumbing. God knew what time period to place me in...I would not have done well if I had existed 200 years ago.

Back to Jane Austen,
I love her characters, each one has so much depth. Although, most of her character are charicatures, I know so many people who fit them exactly! I also love Austens diction. The word choice is impeccable, just reading her novels makes me want to use big words...see, like impeccable. Who says that?! I wish we still talked like that.

"It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first."

I wish I talked like this...every word is descriptive, and conveys exaclty what message the speaker wants to send. They thought out what they were going to say before they sent it...i need to do that more often.

running

I went for a run tonight.

Running and I have a strange relationship. I hate getting ready to go running but I love the way I feel while I run and after I run. My absolute favorite is to run at night in a cool rain. I got one of the three tonight. I went running when it was dark, and cool. It was just me, my ipod, and the stars. I wish i could say i was one of those people that run to collect their thoughts and ponder deep and confusing issues, but I can't. When I run, my mind clears. I just focus on the ground in front of me. But speaking of deep and confusing issues, I saw my philosophy professor while I was running, that was kinda strange. haha

I wish i could run more often. One of THE MOST frustrating things about my life is the problems i continually have with my legs. I can't run more than a couple times a week without getting shin splints. I've had at least 2 stress fractures in my ankles, and now I have really bad tendonitis in both knees. I love running, but not being able to walk the day after is not fun. I think I need to find some type of exercise that still tires me out but doesn't kill my legs. Any ideas?

Guess what? 1 1/2 days till break! Food, family, and giving thanks....can't get much better.

night all.

a poem...

After a while – Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…

I have a confession, I collect poems. Every so often I read poems online, all different kinds. My favorite poet is Sara Teasdale, she's kinda melancholy (ok that's a lie, she super melancholy) but i like her insight and her diction. obviously, this isn't by her, but i like this poem a lot. I says a lot...on a lot of different levels. What kind of experience does it take to make someone write these words. How many sad experiences did this person have to make them feel like they must set out by themselves? It's intresting though, because, slowly, I'm starting to become this person. Scary, huh? Its scary to learn sometimes. Its scary to know that i must to learn if i want to actually live a life instead of just existing in one. Its scary that if i want to learn i will experience pain.

and on a lighter note, the U of M vs. OSU game is tomorrow.....Go wolverines. If all goes according to plan, tomorrow will consist of sleeping in, watching the U of M game, watching the HU basketball game, and helping at a benefit for an amazing little girl. should be a good day.

side note. my roommates are discussing a very serious matter. after watching an episode of Deadliest Catch (awesome show by the way), we have begun to ponder this question: What does a lobster do all day long? and how do they stay on the bottom of the ocean? we may never know.

thought of the moment: take away the smoking, swearing, heavy drinking from the average deck hand on Deadliest Catch, add some teeth, some religious beliefs, and at least a GED level of education, and you have my perfect man.

Thanksgiving already!?!?!

I talked to some of my friends this afternoon and was reminded that i haven't blogged in a while...so here we go...

So i was pretty much mortified when I got up this morning and realized that today is November 19, which means, it's almost Thanksgiving, I have 3 1/2 weeks till Christmas Break, and less than 2 months till 2010. Where did the year go? I swear just yesterday I was finishing up my soph. year and now i'm halfway through my junior year. crazy. I know it's a little early to be thinking about new years resolutions...but honestly what did i do this year? I mean i wish i could be like, i helped such-and-such organization, or reached out to this ministry. I'll be the first to admit that i didn't do as much as i wanted to this year. I always have such high expectations about all the things i want to do in the world...gosh, i want to bash around and save the world...but then the next minute i'm completely content to lay around in apathy. how annoying. well hopefully (Lord willing) that will change.

Speaking of change....you know that big change that i felt like was coming....yep, still hasn't happened. bummer.

side note that has nothing to do w/ anything. the past two days i've gotten to spend some time with friends i haven't seen in awhile. i didn't realise how much i missed them. i need to come out of the cave that i've been living in for the past 3 weeks. I didn't live in a cave on purpose....i just needed a break from people...and it turned into a life consisting of homework, t.v., sleeping, and pondering. haha. well i need to try and get over that hump.

ok...that was a lot of introspection for one post.

Make the last few days of the year count!

change

so kinda a weirdly creepy picture...but it's what google came up with when I typed in change...

well an update for all of you who read my blog and don't already know this. My brother is a state champion. Freedom won division 4 boys soccer state finals last weekend. He also passed his drivers test this week too! I'm so proud of him! Man, I love that boy! He's a pretty awesome brother. Now for this week. I've been feeling "sickish" for the past two days. I haven't been hungry for two days and I have a slight headache, upset stomach, and maybe a slight fever. major downer. oh well can't do much about it.

I sat in today for HTV, our college's tv news broadcast. I think it would be SUPER fun to be an anchor or sports or something on HTV. The professor told me I should do sports next year, and the director said I should come out. But i don't know. I mean It's entirely possible that i will really suck at it. I mean can't you just picture me misreading the teleprompter and saying s---t instead of shift, or reading the entire news story into the wrong camera, or having a chunck of my hair sticking straight up, or having something in my teeth, the list goes on and on. so I don't know...we'll see.

anyways...now in reference to my title for the post.


Have you ever felt like you're on the verge of a big chance? I have, I feel like that right now, actually. I'm not sure what it will have to do with, but it feels like there's gonna be a huge change, like a turning point you know? Like I'm standing with a blindfold on and it's about to be taken off (ha, I avoided using the clique of "standing at the edge of a cliff", or "standing at a fork in the road", but I mean they are good analogies). I don't know if it's going to be good or bad, but I just feel like it's coming.


Here's to hoping it's a good change.

off track already

I'm fully aware that it was just yesterday that i made a list of topics i was going to cover for my blog, but i don't feel like talking about anything on that list right now.

Right now i feel like talking about my day...and my 5 day weekend.

What does a 100+ Communication theory+ worrying= a 100% on my last Communication Theory test.....OH YEAH!!!! That, my wonderful friends, is how my day started. I had to visit the doctor about my leg today. Apparently, I have periostitis, which is the inflammation of the covering on the bone of my lower leg. I'm supposed to massage my leg, ice it, and rest. At least it's not a stress fracture, could've been worse.

Today I was a sports anchor, "threw to a break", ran a teleprompter, worked a tv camera, and shot a OVS shot, all for the first time. In broadcast journalism today we had 3 mock newscasts. I really enjoyed doing the sports and working the camera, but i HATED running the teleprompter. I was complimented for how I did doing the sports, which was neat...since I'd NEVER DONE IT BEFORE.

Next I enjoyed killing my skin cells by frying them in a tanning bed. It was wonderful. Overall it has been a wonderful day.

Now for my big weekend plans.

So my brother, who I love so very much, is playing in the state semi-finals soccer game tomorrow. My mom is coming to pick me up tomorrow and she'll bring me back on thurs. If they win tomorrow then my mom will spend the night on thurs. and we'll go back to Grand Rapids on Fri. for the weekend...with the state championship game on sat. It's shaping up to be an excellent weekend!

this is my brother whom I love.


Time to indulge...in some ice cream.

Coming Attractions

When I created this blog I had a whole list of things I wanted to talk about..and i realized today that I have talked about...pretty much none of them. So I'm making a list of topics I want to talk about...

-soccer
-next semester
-the soundtrack of my life
-my future
-"Respectable Sins"
-my sense of "style"
-summer plans
-my friends
-my family
-high school
-my time

Well it's probably going to take me awhile to get through this list but that's ok. Let's get started on that list.

Next Semester:

I scheduled classes for next semester today. I'm taking 16 credits, which might not sound like a lot...but i'm a little nervous because I haven't taken that many credits in a while. So far...here's how it looks...

BR331 Religions of the World
MA151 Intro. to Probability & Statistics
CO231 Radio Announcing & Production
CO381 Media Law
CO421 Research Methods in Communication
PE121CAR Cardio Strength Conditionng Women
PE111YOG Yoga

Usually I'm excited about the new classes I will be taking because they relate to my major, but a math class, a Bible class, and Strenght training and yoga don't relate to the major. I haven't taken a math class in 4 years so i'm kinda worried I won't remember that 2+2=4. I'm actually worried for all my classes. I hate worrying. God tells us in pretty obvious terms that we aren't supposed to worry. He is in control of everything and we really can't change what His plan is. So my goal....is to stop worrying. Hahaha...might be awhile before i accomplish that one. Let's look on the positive side of things w/ regards to classes....I'm interested in what exactly we will do in Yoga...hopefully I'll get a little more flexible, always a good thing. And i'm excited to take the Radio announcing and production class. Hopefully this will let me know if I want to be on-air at a radio station...or do more behind the scenes stuff. Side note- one of my professors told me the other day he could see me in public relations type stuff....awesome Dr. Clark, way to make me complete doubt my choice of major/minor. Great now I need to deal doubt...which is also something God tells us not to do...geesh...i'm on a role w/ this whole trusting God thing. Well at least His grace is sufficient.


Also...I noticed that my posts have nothing to do w/ my title...my random thoughts are not helping me decide on a great title....so I'll end each post w/ something about me that I think needs to be included in my blog title. Today it's.....

Well after looking at this post, I've concluded, unfortunately enough, that I am a worrying doubter...or a doubting worrier. which ever way you want to look at it.

may you all have a peaceful day.