lazy night

This is a NEWS BULLETIN......THIS POST HAS NO RHYME OR REASON AT ALL
and there will be no pictures...try using your imaginations...it's way more fun.

So I should be studying for my Communication Theory class right now. But instead i'm writing on my blog...and dreaming of days gone by. Cheesy? YES!!! But that's what an hour and a half of listening to Michael Buble, Dean Martin, and Frank Sinatra will do to you. Their music puts me in best mood. Suddenly i'm wisked back to 1950s and wearing a killer dress and dancing with a well dressed man w/ a fedora. I want to be sitting in a cocktail lounge listenig to Sinatra in person. Oh well..not gonna happen...since he's dead. oh well. The most I can hope for is a night downtown Chicago, walking from the door of my 15th story apartment building out to a black towncar (It's my boyfriend's company car that they let him borrow for the evening, just so you know). The stars are out, its one of those warm fall nights, the perfect temperature. Then we're being wisked down Michigan Avenue towards the Palmer House for the Gala that he just HAD to go to. It's gonna be a night of dancing(even though i don't know how to dance), champagne (even though i don't really like it) and big band music. Just to complete the image for you, I'm wearing a killer dress that shows off my legs, and my hair looks better than jennifer anistons ever has. Now back to reality...sigh...


I figured out my schedule for next semester today. I'm hopefully taking 16.5 credits. I'm really excited about my Radio Announcing and Production class. Not so excited about my Research Methods in Communication, Media Law, or the MATH class that I have to take. Oh well. I have to get em done sometime.


I think i have a stress fracture in my leg. I had one my freshman year in high school and it was one of the most frustrating things ever. My leg hurts pretty bad. I have a sharp pain when i walk on it or touch it. It even hurts when i'm laying down...it's a dull, throbbing pain. I'm trying to just suck it up since I only have one week of soccer left. I was looking forward to running and working out (hopefully to lose a couple pounds) after soccer was over, but I can hardly walk...There is no way I'll be able to run. I guess I'll just have to cut out a meal each day...I'm down to a granola bar for breakfast and a salad for dinner....just kidding.


I got a text from the guy I worked with at my internship. He said that him and his co-worker missed me and wished "he could snap his fingers and have me as a member of team" right now. I was really encouraged by that. I've been scared lately. What if I graduate and I'm bad at radio, or public relations, or...everything. We had a chapel this week about how we need to get out there and DO stuff for God. And I thought about how I want to do something big for God so bad. They talked about how each of us are gifted especially for our purpose in God's kingdom. And I thought about how I'm not super good at anything...I mean don't get me wrong. God's gifted me in numerous ways...but there will always be someone (in most cases, a lot of someones) who are way better at any skill i might have. What if I'm just average my whole life. I don't want to be average, but I don't have anything that makes me distinctive enought to really stand out like that one person. You know who I'm talking about, that one person who has it all. They have that special quality that just makes them stand slightly above the rest. They can sing, they can dance, they can lead, they can pray, and everybody just loves them...and the worst part about it is that you do too! haha. Oh well i need to just get over it, and trust that God will find some use for me.


side note.....i'm sorry if you get annoyed with my really bad spelling, and my really bad puncuation, and the fact that i never capitalize words...or i do but only sometimes. I just get too into what i'm writing...or i'm too lazy to care. And I don't usually re-read my posts...so there will probably be parts that don't make sense....



Deal with the mediocrity of my writing.

the saddest part of autumn

I love fall, it might be my favorite season.

Here's a few reasons why I love fall:

-colder weather- I love being able to bundle up in a sweater or a huge blanket

-sweaters- who doesn't love pulling on a cozy sweater?

-apple picking- I wish I could re-create the smell of an apple orchard, and
something is just so much better about the way fresh picked apples taste.

-pumpkins- Although the guts can be smelly and kinda gross, decorating pumpkins in a
fall time must!!!! do you paint or carve your pumpkins?

-thanksgiving- food, family, football...the ultimate triangle of awesomeness!

-apple cider- what a wonderful beverage. enjoy hot,cold,frozen, or with a cinnamon
stick.

-pumpkin cookies- my lovely mother started making these a couple years ago. They're
actually pretty healthy because they are made with pumpkin filling (i guess it's
healthy for you).

-college football-
"Hail! to the victors valiant
Hail! to the conqu'ring heroes
Hail! Hail! to Michigan
The leaders and best!
Hail! to the victors valiant
Hail! to the conqu'ring heroes
Hail! Hail! to Michigan,
The champions of the West!

enought said.....

-carmel apple pops- a beautiful combination of sour green apple suckers and carmel...but get them while they last, they're only around during the fall.

-leaves- The colors of changing leaves are AMAZING!!!! There are so many different colors, but my favorite are the vivid red leaves. I wish they stayed on the trees longer, but they do make the road/sidewalk look so much better! haha I'll admit it, I'm not a huge fan of raking leaves....but i love jumping in them!


speaking of leaves, A depressing thing happened this week. During the fall this depressing thing happens about once a week. Yesterday the grounds crew (the people that mow the grass at HU), destroyed the leaves. The crew comes in with this huge machine-thing that sucks up all the leaves and chops them into little tiny pieces. After they're done there are no longer any pretty leaves...only chopped up little pieces in random spots across campus. anyways...time to get to bed, I have a soccer game tomorrow, it could be my second to last game of my junior year. so strange to think about.

enjoy the fall!

a "goodish" day

today was a good day, for the most part. It started off not so good because i had an 8 o'clock class...boooo that. then we watched some really neat music videos in my comm. class. I got to take a NAP, which are possibly my most favorite things in the world. We had a soccer game against IWU tonight. we lost 3-0 but we played well, and i played 4, yep count 'em, 4 different positions. My parents came, which was so nice. I've really gotten a lot closer to my parents this school year and I just love whenever I get to see them, especially since i didn't get to go home for fall break. We went out to eat afterwards to applebees...it was excellent. in aproximately 1 hour Glee is on.....winner winner chicken dinner. and then I get to go to bed. overall this has been an above average day.

i'm aware that there wasn't really anything deep or insightful in this post. but i felt guilty that i hadn't posted anything since sat.

heres one of the music videos we watched in class...the actual music is super weird and it takes awhile for it to get interesting but hold out, cuz it's amazing, so much planning had to go into making this movie.

just being honest

ok, this is just an honest post. I know it's not what I should be thinking, and i know i shouldn't feel this way because i have more things to be thankful than i could possibly count...i didn't write that because i want a million people commenting that they love me, or that i shouldn't be sad, or that my time is coming, or that God's timing is perfect. like i said...i know those things...but this is just the way i'm feeling


i'm kinda sad and kinda lonely....

and i don't want to be kinda sad and kinda lonely anymore.










good night.

my "fall break", but not really

I'm getting ready for a non-fall break. I have a soccer game today and practice monday and tuesday so i can't go home. But i'm glad i get a break and a chance to catch up on some sleep.

I don't have much time to write a deeply insightful post right now...but, thanks to Rachel, I discovered this song...and I love it. It's a good reminder. Enjoy!

http://

Who knows who you might meet in a grocery store.


Have a lovely fall day!

SO ANGRY!!!!!!!

So we watched a movie the other day in my communication and society class. It was about how music videos objectify women. I found myself getting angry about how women were allowing men to treat them in such a way. The women in these videos were allowing (if not throwing) themselves onto men. They were letting men touch them and treat them like pieces of meat. It made me SO ANGRY!!!!!!!!! I'm angry because our society has put such a high emphasis on appearance and sexuality that womens minds have been been numbed into thinking that these are the only things that give women value.

And i'm even more angry that I've boughten into it. I mean I try to make myself look half-way decent. I'm constantly comparing myself to women I see on t.v. or even around campus. I wish I was skinnier. I wish I had better skin. I wish I had a smaller nose. I spend a lot of money on makeup. The list goes on and on. I hate that I'm one of those girls. I hate feeling like I don't have as much value because I don't have a boyfriend. I hate feeling like I'm behind because all of my friends from highschool are either married or engaged. I hate it because I know my value doesn't come from that. I know that if I search for admiration the of men I WILL NEVER FIND IT. Paul says in Galatians, "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." I am a child of the Living God and He is what gives me value. I must stop believing the lie that the devil has told to society. Now if I can only figure out how.......


hmmmm. time for some pondering...

my to-do list

I have an ongoing list that I keep of things I want to do before I die. It's not really a bucket list...it's not like if I don't do everything my life will be a failure or anything like that. It's just a list of things that I think it would be cool to do. Some of the items are small and other ones are kinda reaching for the sky. don't laugh, some of these are kinda lame.

To-Do List:

• buy a lotto ticket


• take a cooking class


• swim in the mediterranean


• learn to play the piano


• visit all 50 states


• get my ears double pierced


• write a song


• sail a boat


• run a half marathon


• drive/ride a motorcycle


• visit Paris


• visit Italy


• ride the underground in London


• learn to ski


• climb a mountain

Well there it is...the ones I feel like sharing anyways.

side note: I love Glee. It's a show on Fox, it's on Wed. nights, and I think it's the bees knees. The music rocks my world. Every week I'm really really want to buy all the songs from the show on itunes.....behold temptation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


peace out home scout!

it's funny

NOTE TO READERS: Due to having a lot on my mind this entry will probably end up being random. I tend to have a thought, begin to elaborate on it, then move onto another thought before i finish the old one. consider yourself warned.


it's funny how easily your day can be changed. My day started out awesome. I made toast and eggs for breakfast and I looked cute. Then I went to class and I got a test back. I didn't fail but I didnt get a very good grade either. So my day went a little worse. Then i went on a field trip to a t.v. station which was fun. So my day got a little better. After that I had a soccer game, which we lost...that made me sad/mad. I played alot which was great but it's just been a frustrating (I never spell this word right) year soccer-wise...but that will come later...in the form of a post. haha. Then I did homework...which continued to bring my day down. Then...we had our floor/friends Bible study. This has become the highlight of my week. I love being able to share our insights, triumphs, and pray requests with each other. But back to my rollercoaster of emotions (why yes, i did steal that analogy). I don't think that it's right for me to be that wishy-washy. I mean shouldn't my emotions be based on God, and when I really think about it, i bring it upon myself with the value i place on things that dont really matter. So for the rest of this week i'm gonna try hard to not let day-to-day circumstances change my attitude. This is going to be tough.

ok well i'm tired. and i guess that post wasn't quite as random as i thought it was going to be...but it's time for me to drift off into the sweet sweet land of sleep.

sleep well.

Rainy fall day

So it's kinda cold and rainy today. The leaves had started to change, and some have started to fall off the trees, so there's wet, brown leaves all over the sidewalk. I know I should hate weather like this, I mean who would pick this over a warm, sunny day when it's 80 degrees. And while I love days like that too, I'll be honest and say I love this weather...ok maybe not the rain...but anyways.

It reminds me of 2 things:

1. What I imagine England would be like. I'm not sure why but I think of England as being kinda blustery and cold. I probably get it from Wuthering Heights, one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE books. I can almost picture myself ducking into some quaint bookstore for tea after traveling through the moors....See I warned you my blog was going to be weird. You're only just beginning to see how strange my mind really is.

2. Chicago. When I turned 16 my mom took me and one of my best friends at the time, Laura, to Chicago. I love everything about Chicago, I love how big it is, I love how diverse it is, I love how I can pass Louis Vuitton, H&M, and Goodwill all within a couple of minutes. Anyways, when I went with Laura and my mom it was only about the second time I had gone. We had a fantastic time but it rained/snowed and was cloudy for most of the weekend. I went to Chicago again with the Student Council from high school and same deal...I loved it, but it rained the whole weekend. In some weird frame of mind I feel like the clouds fit Chicago though. For me at least, it makes it feel more urban. I feel compelled to walk fast and wear a black (very stylish, of course) trench coat.


So yes, while the rain is wet and cold. I enjoy what it reminds me of.....now it's time for me to go to class. Maybe I'll walk quickly and pretend my sweatshirt is actually a very stylish trench coat.

Much love.

the start of something new...

well i'm trying something NEW...a blog!!

I wanted to start blogging a while ago but I didn't want to "go along with the crowd". Which, I guess doesn't really make sense since now it just looks like I was late in following the trend.

So I'm kind of a particular person and as lame as it is, I wanted a really good title for my blog. I wanted something that would describe me. I wanted something original and quirky, but not too cliche or brainy. My goal of a perfect title is pretty much impossible since I'm such a random smathering of ideas, emotions, and thoughts. So I decided that until I finally have that epiphany of the perfect title, this blog will track the process of coming up with THE great title. I know hardly anyone is going to read this because I don't plan on really telling anyone about it. I know that if anyone does read this they will probably just be really confused since I'm so weird. And I know that my blog will not be a place full of amazing, deeply penetrating thoughts. But my thoughts are my thoughts and I'm excited to try to put them down into words.


And So It Begins.......