"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brothers eye." Luke 6:41-42
This isn't a passive agressive post. I didn't post it so people would read it and think I'm accusing them of anything, I'm not. I've just been thinking of these verses as of late and thought I would share a little insight into what's been going through my head.....maybe I'll post again later and share a little more of what crazy things I've been thinking the past few days...look out cuz that's going to be a crazy post!
I'm feeling a little tired. Not really a lack of sleep tired (although that's there too), more of an emotional, psychological, spiritual tired. There are so many things to worry about involving school, money, and life in general. And then on top of that I'm supossed to be changing my life to become more like Christ. That task, in and of itself, requires more focus and energy than I could ever have. Most of the time it feels like a losing battle. As soon as I feel like I'm making some spiritual progress, I realize that I've really made no progress at all. "one step forward, two steps back"...I feel like that's the story of my life, or at least the story of this past year. But.....
"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2
So I have a deep dark secret. Only a few people are aware of this, so you should be privileged to know this information...
I'm in love with Matchbox 20...and Rob Thomas.
I know that was anti-climactic. I know, Matchbox 20 is mainstream. I know it's "typical" music. I know they don't produce super high quality music. I know Rob Thomas is married. I know his earring makes him look like a tool-bag. I know they are basically a 90's band, but I love them. What can I say, guilty pleasure.
I tend to be a "brooding soul" when it comes to books, music, and movies. I realized this the other day when I made a failed attempt to make a work-out playlist. Instead of finding music which compelled me to stay on the elliptical for just 10 minutes more, I found music which could lull me into a take-a-long-drive on a rainy day mood. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, Matchbox 20 fits right into this.
My mind has been all over the place the last few days. There a lot of different things I could blog about, but it's late and if I started talking about any of them, you would be subjected to reading one of my posts which jumps from topic to topic. I never really talk about anything, I just touch on everything. So in order to spare you, I'll leave you with Rob Thomas' lyrical musings. I connect with this song. Yes, mock me all you want, but this song describes certain aspects of my crazy life right now.
Matchbox 20- Bright Lights
She got out of town On a railway New York bound Took all except my name Another alien on Broadway There's some things in this world You just can't change Somethings you can't see Until it gets too late
Baby, baby, baby When all your love is gone Who will save me From all I'm up against out in this world Maybe, maybe, maybe You'll find something That's enought to keep you But if the bright lights don't receive you You should turn yourself around And come on home
I got a hole in me now Yeah, I got a scar I can talk about She keeps a picture of me In her apartment in the city Some things in this world Man, they don't make sense Some things you don't need Until they leave you And they're the things that you miss
Baby, baby, baby When all your love is gone Who will save me From all I'm up against out in this world Maybe, maybe, maye You'll find something That's enough to keep you But if the bright lights don't receive you You should turn yourself around And come on home.
well yesterday...well i guess technically it was two days ago, was valentine's day. I spent the "hallmark holiday" at church, doing homework, babysitting, and playing soccer. I spent the day before valentines day alone in my apartment doing homework. *Note to self: never spend valentine's day (or the day before) by yourself, even if it is a made up holiday. You'll end up eating way to much and buying songs on itunes....or maybe that's just me.
The Olympics are on television. I don't know if it's because I'm an athlete or what exactly, but I LOVE watching them. I watch these people compete in different events and think...ok...so all they're doing is skiing, I could totally do that, then some announcer comes on and says that they are going 80 miles an hour and it's a crazy steep hill. I barely ever go that fast in my CAR let alone on two skis that are only 6 inches wide! How is that even possible! Or what about the speed skaters? They go insanely fast around and around in a little circle, how do they not get dizzy? And they're angle is so small when they take those corners, how is it physically possible to stay upright? I'm convinced I'm going to date an olympic speed skater, or a snowboarder, or someone who does moguls, or a hockey player...ok really any olympic male athlete who ISN'T a figure skater. I'll keep you updated on how many offers I get.
so for no reason at all...i'm going insanely mad. ok maybe there are a couple reasons but they are inconsequential. but i am so mad...so if...in several hours you hear random rage-filled screams coming across the winter tundra...look out. it could be me.
Well today was the first day of my "be positive" week. I decided to try it for a week.
Today definately tested me...i mean when are mondays a breeze! haha. But today I am thankful for.....
good friends. I had a great weekend with a lot of my friends. They make me feel special and I'm so thankful they are there to teach me and encourage me.
soccer. We had a workout tonight. While it was kinda hard to go workout from 9pm-11pm. I saw it as an opportunity to go burn some calories.
a productive day. I had a lot of stuff on my plate today. A lot of homework and a lot of little things that had to be done today. And by God's grace, I got most of it done, even a little extra!
One sad thing about today. One of my friends is going away for awhile. We said goodbye to her today and I was surprised how sad it made me. Don't get me wrong, I love my friend, but I'm excited for her to have this AWESOME opportunity and know she will have a great time. Normally goodbye's don't bother me. Maybe it's because I know most of the time, their temporary, but today it was really hard. It reminded me that next year at about this time, we'll be getting ready to say our goodbyes "for good". We'll be graduating, and instead of being able to run into the next room, or down the stairs to catch-up or to see how someone's day is going, it will have to be a call, or a 3 hour drive for a "visit". I'm not looking forward to that. While I know that it's just another phase of life, I'm not ready to say "goodbye" to these people yet. It reminded me to live each day to the fullest, because in a blink of an eye, college will be over, and we'll never be able to come back.
now i need to get to bed so I wont be cranky in the morning!
well let's just pretend i didn't write that last post. That's what happens when i haven't gotten enough sleep and have overdosed on sugar. Yikes! That sounded like I'm completely hopeless, which is not true.
For all the struggles I might be dealing with, I have infinitely more blessings!
For example, I can look out my window right now, and although I still see snow, I can see a bright blue sky. I feel like I haven't seen the sky in years!! It's so beautiful!
Here's an idea, how about holding on to the positives in life rather than clutching on to all the negatives. This is my new goal for the next couple days. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just wanted to let you know.....as of yesterday, I'm now 21 years old. I have lived for over two decades.
Just wanted to let you know.....i miss my family. I didn't get to see them on my birthday and that makes me sad.
Just wanted to let you know.....i'm running out of money, and i'm scared for what will happen when it's gone.
Just wanted to let you know.....i miss having close guy friends. There are some things girls just can't help you with.
Just wanted to let you know.....i don't like it when people are mad at each other. I want it fixed. I don't want them to be upset with each other.
Just wanted to let you know.....i'm not sure if i'm going to make it through this semester. I barely made it through this week.
Just wanted to let you know.....that i'm a selfish person. Today I helped out at a benefit for a little girl who has cancer. Her family is willing to sacrifice anything for her. They worry if their daughter will make it to her next birthday, while i worry about school work.
Just wanted to let you know.....life isn't going to get easier. I'm slowly beginning to understand this is just another fact of life.
Just wanted to let you know.....i like ingrid michaelson. Try and look past the strange video and just listen to the song.
I'm Brittany and this is one of my favorite quotes...
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it’s best, day and night, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ee cummings
